3 Ways to Become More Confident

Is lack of confidence holding you back?

Personally. Professionally. Spiritually. In your family.

Is fear or doubt keeping you from doing the things you want to do? Or, worse yet, keeping you from doing the things you know you MUST do?

When I reflect on my own journey, it’s easy to see how a lack of confidence has kept me from achieving certain results.

A couple of weeks ago I came across a super helpful video training from leadership guru John Maxwell.  In it, he shares three ways we can grow in our own confidence. Here’s John’s advice:


3 Ways to Be More Confident


1. Take Action

Confidence is often the result of doing something you may be uncomfortable with. Every time you take action, you will build your confidence.

If you’ve been putting off an important conversation you know you need to have, take the next step and schedule a coffee meeting with the other person.

If you desire a promotion or want to make a vocational shift- take a class, attend a seminar, or meet with a coach to help you move forward.

As scary as it may seem, just do it! Action begets action and leads to greater confidence.

For about 4-5 years, I was kicking around the idea of pursuing an MBA. I had already taken the GMAT entrance exam and gotten accepted into several programs. I knew an MBA was my next step to develop both personally and professionally. However, fear and insecurity prevented me from actually taking a class:

What if I’ve been out of school for too long?
What if I can’t balance work life, family life, and the MBA program?
What if I feel like a fish out of water as a Pastor?

Finally, a couple years ago, I took action. I sucked it up, got over myself, and took my first class. The result – total affirmation and confidence! I’m halfway through the program and couldn’t be more thrilled to be on this journey.

If you’re looking for more confidence, maybe you need to take action on something you’ve been putting off for a while. Just do it!


2. Help Other People

Another way to grow in confidence is to share with others what you already know. Instead of focusing on what you don’t know, focus on adding value to other’s lives. You will feel better about yourself when you are continually helping those around you.

Kevin is a coworker of mine who is always helping out his team. There is no task too big or too small for Kevin to offer his knowledge, his experience, or even his muscles.

As a result, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Kevin is one of the most confident people I know. He’s secure, he’s calm, he’s humble, and he takes initiative.

If you’re lacking in the confidence department, perhaps your next step is to help some people around you in areas you are already confident in.


3. Spend Time with Confident People

John Maxwell puts it this way- “There is no security like being with secure people.”

You will get better and become more confident if you spend time with people who are confident and secure. Confidence is contagious.

I have a group of guys that I absolutely love spending time with. They’re all accomplished in their own ways. They strive to get better every day. And, they believe in themselves.

When we’re done hanging out, I always feel more courageous and empowered.

If you desire to be more confident, maybe you need to be more intentional about spending time with other confident people.



In closing, I’d love for you to consider what step you need to take to grow your confidence.

  • Is there something you need to take action on immediately?
  • Is there a way you can add value to other people right now?
  • Are there confident people you need to seek out and spend more time with?

If you feel so bold, I’d love for you to share your next step!

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March 27, 2018


Tom Skilling


Leadership Personal Development

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